The Reluctant Mama
How Did I Become The Reluctant Mama?

I have always been a very independent and introverted person. I like to do my own thing, my own way, by myself. I enjoy people, and even animals, who are the same way. My best friend and I can go our separate ways for months and come together like we never left the others side when needed. We love each other even though it may not seem that way from the outside. My favorite pet was my miniature pincher, Penny, who was fiercely independent and smart. She could spend the whole day alone in our apartment while my mother was at work and I was at school laying in her makeshift bed of pillows and blankets she had confiscated from us throughout the years without a single issue, but she knew when I needed a good snuggle and was always there to provide it. We loved each other even though it was not your typical dog/owner relationship.

Because of this, I had assumed (as well as many others including my family) I would be the type to live the single life, travel the world, live in exciting places, and remain childless. So when, after I graduated in the summer of 2008, I married a wonderful man and moved to his very rural hometown, it confused some people…including myself. Alas, that was not the biggest surprise awaiting me.

In the summer of 2010 we found ourselves pregnant. It was not a planned pregnancy and, although I was not thinking of terminating the pregnancy, I did not know how I felt about it. I never thought I would have a baby. I was very reluctant to become a mother. A baby is so needy, I don’t do well with needy. My husband and I have a pet bird and he was too needy for my liking! What am I going to do with a baby?!

I am going to do whatever it takes. If I am going to do something I am going to do it right!

So, my entire paradigm shifted and here I am. I am the stay-at-home, AP, breastfeeding, bed sharing momma to the most perfect 6 month old boy the universe has ever created. This is my journey to allow my son to have the childhood, and entire life, he deserves.